wife

Dear Sex-Starved Husband,

conflict, couples, desire, marriage, sex

I know you are angry. Resentful. Frustrated. Or maybe just living with quiet desperation. But because I see so many of you in the safety of my office I also know how hurt and vulnerable you are. You’re thinking that when your wife does not respond favorably to your advances, that she is rejecting you. I know that secretly you fear that you aren’t good enough or desirable. Your self-esteem gets bruised every time it happens. To make matters worse, she might even roll her eyes or use sarcasm, like, “it ain’t your birthday!” or “you have a one-track mind!” which stings at the very least and can be crushing at...

Dear Critical Wife,

couples, marriage

Girl, I know how frustrated you are. Your husband has shut down or checked out. The more you try to talk to him, the further into himself he retreats. You tell yourself that he doesn’t care and wonder how he can be so cold or callous. Trying to resolve issues feels impossible because you can’t manage to have a conversation without it leading to explosive anger or complete silence. I want to share with you what I’ve learned about men. Including my own husband. Men perceive complaints as criticism. We feel like we are merely sharing feelings, bringing up a legitimate issue/request but their perception is that we are pointing...

Dear Angry Husband

couples, marriage

I know that you have gotten a raw deal in life when it comes to the expression of emotions. I know that from as early as your toddler days you started to hear “man up!” And if you expressed vulnerable emotions such as hurt feelings, fear of rejection, feeling unloved or inferior, you were looked at as weak or pathetic. Of course when you saw women express these feelings people were understanding so you began to suspect that these sorts of feelings were feminine and certainly not masculine. You saw men who expressed these feelings become a target of ridicule so this reinforced what you already suspected. I know that...

Dear Clueless Husband,

marriage

I know you love your wife.  I know she’s the most important person in your life.  I even know that if she left, you would be lost.  Devastated even.  You are a good person with a good heart.  And this is precisely why I’m writing you this note.  Your wife is harboring secret thoughts she isn’t sharing with you.  I know this because I see women like your wife every day.  She’s lonely. She complains to me that you don’t pay attention to her.  That she feels emotionally disconnected from you.  That you spend too much time watching television or surfing on your iPad.    She keeps secretly wishing that you...