husband

Dear Unfaithful Husband,

conflict, couples, divorce, marriage, therapy

You got caught. The two worlds you’ve been living in have come crashing together. Your wife is a wreck. Her mind is now contaminated and her anxiety and anger consumes her. She feels crazy and she is making you feel crazy. You were unprepared for her intense agony. You are wondering if she will ever be able to forgive you, move on and stop asking relentless questions.   The short answer is that this depends almost entirely on you and how you behave from this point forward. Though intense, her response is a normal reaction to trauma. Yes, trauma. The foundation of her life – her husband and intact family –...

Dear Angry Husband

couples, marriage

I know that you have gotten a raw deal in life when it comes to the expression of emotions. I know that from as early as your toddler days you started to hear “man up!” And if you expressed vulnerable emotions such as hurt feelings, fear of rejection, feeling unloved or inferior, you were looked at as weak or pathetic. Of course when you saw women express these feelings people were understanding so you began to suspect that these sorts of feelings were feminine and certainly not masculine. You saw men who expressed these feelings become a target of ridicule so this reinforced what you already suspected. I know that...

Dear Clueless Husband,

marriage

I know you love your wife.  I know she’s the most important person in your life.  I even know that if she left, you would be lost.  Devastated even.  You are a good person with a good heart.  And this is precisely why I’m writing you this note.  Your wife is harboring secret thoughts she isn’t sharing with you.  I know this because I see women like your wife every day.  She’s lonely. She complains to me that you don’t pay attention to her.  That she feels emotionally disconnected from you.  That you spend too much time watching television or surfing on your iPad.    She keeps secretly wishing that you...