I know Valentine’s Day is one of the most high pressure days of the year for you. Most of you are expected to read your wives’ mind and then exceed whatever it is she is imagining. The bigger problem is that her expectations can be a moving target, leaving you in denial with your head stuck in the sand until the last minute. I feel for you, I really do! So I want to try to explain why we are frequently disappointed with you on this day.
Most women are in love with the idea of being in love. 364 days a year our lives look like the Cinderella who gets bossed around while cleaning up after everyone else. Valentines Day represents the one day of the year we get to go to the Ball. Do you know why Cinderella is such a popular story with girls? Listen closely; because the man she loved went to extraordinary effort to find her and declare his love to her. He was unwilling to consider any other bride because only she would do. She was that special. It’s not because he was a powerful prince or because he was wealthy (though, not gonna lie it’s a perk). It’s because he made her feel like she was one of a kind. Irreplaceable.
The only way to effectively demonstrate this is through effort. We appreciate the lovely roses from Kroger and the sweet card (also from Kroger) but unless these gestures required forethought, planning and you going out of your way more than usual, we are going to be disappointed. Not mad, but hurt. This is the only day of the year that we secretly hope you will make us feel like the only girl you’ve ever loved or ever will love. I know it sounds sappy, but it quenches a thirst we have for feeling safe in the relationship. It’s a reminder that there are no outside threats because the shoe only fits US!
So if you feel like you need a Mulligan after this Valentine’s Day, just ask for one! Tell her you want a Valentine Do-Over, then plan and execute something that requires a little effort. There is no shame in admitting you could have tried harder. Blame it on being a clueless husband. Let her know that now you get the significance and humbly ask her on a date. The memory of this sweet gesture will pay dividends for the next 364 days.
Now go be the hero in her story.