About Us

NOT YOUR PARENTS’ COUPLES THERAPY

At HRI, we are on the cutting edge of couples therapy.  We don’t just nod our heads and murmur, hmmm.  We challenge, coach, listen, teach, laugh and dig deep to help you reach your goals.  Yes, we are goal oriented!   If you want to finally try a couples therapist who can help you make real change, real progress, then you are in the right place.

 

What is your approach to working with couples?Show More
    The treatment approach we take with couples is based on a series of landmark studies on why relationships succeed or fail. Behavioral scientists have successfully pinpointed specific interpersonal habits that distinguish people who were headed for satisfying relationships versus headed for trouble. Researchers found a core set of habits that clearly predicted the path of their relationship. People who had these crucial habits almost always ended up satisfied with their relationships and people who didn’t have these habits were almost always headed for break-up or unhappiness.
    Findings from these relationship studies have challenged many long held assumptions about how to improve relationships. Before these studies, therapists had to proceed on the basis of what generally accepted theories told them to do. Now we have scientific evidence about what people who cultivate satisfying relationships do differently than those who become dissatisfied with their relationships. Our approach is also based on the latest neurological studies which suggest how we can rewire our brains for more flexibility, enabling us to develop these new behavioral habits.
    Couples who work with us learn:Show More
      1. How to react when your partner does things that upset you to eliminate defensiveness and increase the chances that your partner will respond in a positive way.
      2.  The most common mistakes that people make in relationships, why people make them and how you can avoid them.
      3.  How your behavioral habits may actually be causing your partner’s bad habits to become more extreme over time.
      4.  The habits that are characteristic of partners who form great friendships with one another.
      5.  How to have conversations that promote healing from past hurts caused by one another.
      6.  How to develop and sustain new habits as you navigate day-to-day frustrations that arise in your relationship. How to build upon the growing sense of respect and goodwill emerging from the gains you make in communication.
      7.  How to sustain the positive emotional connection between you and your partner, post-therapy.
      This model for working with couples was developed by Dr. Brent Atkinson of the Couples Clinic and Research Institute near Chicago. Purchase his excellent manual for couples.
      We tried marriage counseling before and it didn’t help.Show More
        There are several reasons why prior attempts at counseling may have been unsuccessful.  Sometimes one or both partners is not motivated.  They may show up to sessions but not be invested in doing the necessary work for change.  You may also have seen a general therapist that wasn’t trained in intensive couples work.  When interviewing a therapist, make sure they have extensive training and experience specifically in working with couples.  This is not something you can assume to be true.  And finally, it may have been a bad fit.  “Goodness of fit” is an essential part of successful outcomes in therapy.  If the relationship between the therapist and couple doesn’t feel right, continue interviewing until you find the perfect fit for your situation.
        My partner would never agree to come to marriage counseling.  Can I improve the relationship if I come by myself?
        We have normal problems but nothing crisis level.  Do we still need marriage counseling?
        I feel pretty hopeless that this marriage can be saved.  I don’t think I even want marriage counseling.
        I need help with my relationship issues but don’t want to bring my partner.  I want counseling just for me.

        Do you have a burning question not answered above?  Just ask!  Fill out the form below and wait for a response.  And remember, there are no dumb questions.

        Read our blog posts on infidelity, second marriages or clueless hubbies.